Disclaimer: All writing is my own.
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ED
(Published in ISU's 2014 edition of Sketch Literary Magazine)
i saw you today
in the cafeteria.
a bigfoot sighting in the wilderness
the table next door
pretending not to notice
how could you not recognize me?
you had to have recognized me.
the face you saw once a week as we
spat the plague to our own Ring Around the Rosie.
chairs in a circle talking in turns about
thoughts we never thought we'd voice.
maybe that's why,
why we didn't acknowledge each other.
maybe you noticed that i was only
eating pretzels and sipping a diet coke.
maybe i noticed you were eating
chicken strips and apple slices with water.
and maybe neither of us noticed anything.
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commitment issues
i said
"i don't do relationships."
i meant
"i don't do feelings."
you said
"that's fine,
labels are for pant sizes."
you meant
"i've never been with a girl
for more than three months."
if i'd had the choice
i wouldn't have chosen this
i would go back
to before i loved
you so much that
i want to bash my head against the wall.
now i'm trying to
remember what it felt like
before i'd rather shatter into
a million pieces instead of seeing you bleed
while i hold the knife
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Fame
(Published in ISU's 2014 edition of Sketch Literary Magazine)
trolls spit venom at these people they pretend that they know
a nasty comment to complete the strike, X-out, and they go
on with their day with no second though
about how "fat" "ugly" "bitch" may seem like a lot
to this icon who gets bitten day after day
only for slaving and earning their pay
to keep up with their lives, their family's and your's
so the next time you decide to beat them with thorns
stare at your face in the glare of the screen
and ask yourself why you must be so obscene
to these celebs who don't seem real or affected
realize that your mind's the one that's infected
the germ mutating the understanding allele
the one that causes the compassion you feel
for the woes of these others you beat up and tear down
until they are safely buried under the ground.
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f*** you
when you said you liked blondes
i bought 8 bottles of Sun-In.
when you said dresses turned you on
i forced a look of comfort while trying
to remember not to sit with spread legs.
when i knew you we obsessed with superheroes
i bought three t-shirts i don't wear featuring
a variety of Avengers.
now, my hair is bleached to the point that my
mom doesn't recognize me from behind.
now, i wear strictly black skinny jeans and
Doc Martens to take away any trace of
girliness i previously held.
now, i wear men's Suave lotion to make my
body smell like it's wrapped in your arms.
you said you loved me but
now you're gone and i'm stuck
wondering if i want you back or not.
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armor
hands
smooth against my own, cool,
like the shell i found at logan's beach
that remains still in my coat pocket
voice
soft, yet sure
like the low tide at night
whispering its love across the shore
eyes
powerful, yet adorning
causing undaunted feelings
as if i could spend years on this beach
against the harsh rocks
and never erode from the incoming swell
as long as i have your gaze
i'm invincible
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roses
i know we agreed,
This wasn't serious.
we had the same views
relationships are naive, fruitless
but i have fallen so desperately
my knees are bruised, my elbows scabbed.
i entrusted you with my heaviest secret;
that's when the falling began.
but the ground is nearing.
This cannot last.
because timing, no,
timing has never been our forte.
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landscape
and there i was
tracing the contour maps of your body
your collar bones,
the ridges
your breastbone,
the valley
your adam's apple,
a mountain i've been dying to conquer
your heart beat,
a steady earthquake
forming and reforming the contour lines
as they rise and fall,
tides of the ocean
adhering to the power of the moon.
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